Stop crying about what you can’t do and make it happen

I hear it all the time. 

The lady doing my pedicure:  I would love to run, but I don’t have anyone to run with me.

Social media:  I have to run 8 miles today, will someone pleeeeeeease run with me.  Anyone??  Pleeeeeeeeese……


They come up with every excuse, some are quite creative I might add, to sabotage the idea of running by themselves.

To me, running is an individual sport.  It’s one of the many reasons I love it so much.  I can run at whatever time I want, my own pace + distance, stop for water or just to stare at the beautiful Pacific.

I depend on me.   


Of course there are relays where groups of runners participate as a team like Ragnar and those who run with regular buddies which I think is fantastic! 

Today I’m talking about those who depend on others to run with them.

Those who refuse to run by themselves. 

Sometimes I would love to have someone to run with, but I also don’t.  The reason?  I don’t want to have anyone depend on me for a reason to run or not.  I also really, really like to run on my terms.  I make my own rules, I make deals with myself which makes it a little more motivating.  If I run 5 miles today, hello Starbucks Double Shot.  Plus I get to rock one of my uber cute Lulu skirts.  And who doesn’t want to look cute while pounding the pavement?

That’s what I thought. 

Also it can be difficult to find folks who run at my pace or even just a bit faster than me.  That’s another reason why I love racing so much.  A mile or two in, I find my “pacer.”  That one person who is just a little faster than I am and keep up with them.

I make my own excuses on why I don’t run too.  If I don’t want to run, or I don’t feel good, that’s on me.

My unsolicited advise:


My parents could care less about my love for running and this blog for that matter.  They have never been to one of my races, even when I lived back home.  Of course I would have loved to see them cheering me on at the finish line, but I never allowed their lack of interest in my passion affect how I feel for it.  I chose to focus on those who were there cheering me on the course & then hustling over to see me accomplish what I came to do – Mike & my Lu.  Both of them cold, tired form the early wake up call but cheering and so proud.

I’m proud of myself, and that pride keeps me motivated for the next run…..My run.

What motivates you to run?

Fess up, do you depend on someone else for your motivation?

Do you make deals/lie to yourself for motivation when you just aren’t feeling it?

Heck yeah, and it works too!


35 Comments on “Stop crying about what you can’t do and make it happen

  1. I am motivated by others, but mores their accomplishments and the knowledge that if they can do it, I can do it too. I make deals with myself all the time: “You can eat that cookie AFTER you run the miles” Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. I think that when it comes down to it, it doesn’t matter if you depend on others or not. If you don’t have the self motivation to get out and do it, you will always find an excuse not to.

  2. Unless Im really really lacking motivation that day it sort of helps but I agree, I prefer to run on my own terms and I stress out adjusting my pace to someone else plus if I’m ready to go and have to wait for them I get annoyed or if I have to hurry my morning routine to meet up with them I get annoyed.

  3. Completely agree. I never understood why some people can ONLY run when they’re with others. Sure, it’s great, but running at my own pace is too. Then I don’t feel like I’m holding anyone back to holding myself back. I love the “me” time to just think and sweat.

  4. I completely agree with you on this one! I would love to run with people but honestly I love the relaxation and alone time I get when I run. I can think about just about anything and it is one of the few times when I am actually relaxed.

    • Exactly, plus it’s on our terms. On another note, I know I’ve said this before, but I am stoked to see you running again friend.

  5. I’m right there with you – I don’t depend on anyone else for my running motivation. My husband (and even boys) are supportive and will say great job after a hard run but I do it because I love it!!!

  6. I run alone, and I actually quite like that. It’s my “me time.” There are even days when I walk in the door from work, cranky, and tell my husband “I’m sorry, I just need to have my me time” and literally go straight to changing and running before I even ask how his day was or give him a hug and he’s okay with it because he knows I’ll emerge from the run a happy person excited to be at home!
    I will say, I wish I had running friends, just so we could grab a coffee and talk about training and shoes, or meet for a post-run breakfast on Saturdays (because even after my run, sometimes my husband is still in bed!)

    • Yes!! I can relate to the post run coffee + shoe chatting. I would dig a run nerd friend to hang with for sure. And BTW sometimes when I get home, Mike’s still in bed. I’m not hating, that boy works so much but dang it I want to tell him every single tiny detail about my run. Dang runners high. 🙂

  7. Great post girl! I used to be only a solo runner…I only wanted to have me to let down if I decided not to go. Now with the group….they have held me to runs that I normally wouldn’t have done…when it is freezing out there….and for that I am thankful. They make 5k go by quicker on those days that I am dragging butt.

    Having said that…I don’t think anyone should rely on others as their reason to run….we all now that in races we often find ourselves alone…and we need to have the strength to push ourselves!!!

    If people really want to do it, they will find a way. I guess saying that would be considered rude though. LOL

    • You are on point girl. I don’t think it’s rude at all – my grandma has always told me “if you want it bad enough, you’ll find a way.” We all need to be able to be self reliant, in both running and life.

  8. This post really speaks to me today!! I was just at the gym pouting because I miss how much I loved having a workout partner to make lifting weights a little less boring. I had a workout partner for a few years and that kept me accountable, which helped me reach fitness goals I never thought possible. She moved out of state and since then, I’ve not been as consistent as I really want to be. I’ve recruited a few prospects but they always disappoint bc we don’t have the same fitness goals…. (Well, maybe they have the goals but are not willing to work for it.) Anyway….your post hits home bc my dedication should not be contingent upon another person showing up to entertain me at the gym, or on a run, etc. Its up to me to motivate myself in order to reach my goals….even if it does get boring or lonely!! …and I also can relate to my parents (or anyone) not taking an interest in my running. No one is at the finish line of any of my races ever….but I don’t do it for their encouragement. I do it for myself….my physical and mental health. Sometimes I think they don’t take an interest bc it makes them feel bad about what they’re NOT doing for their health.

    • You are a true testament to exactly what this post is all about.
      I am so proud of you for sticking with what you love and doing it for yourself – no one else.
      Thanks for making my day with your comment!

  9. I don’t depend on someone to run with me but I do have a regular running partner I run with because I prefer/need to run early in the AM before it gets light out and for safety reasons I run with her. But if she can’t run I still get mine in I just wait till the sun come up 🙂 I like both experiences 🙂

  10. My motivation for running is soda and coffee with cupcakes :p, I know I know it beats the whole purpose but what’s the purpose if I can’t eat or drink those after 10 miles? It’s my treat and I’m addicted to it.
    I don’t run to beat someone or PR I run to have fun and enjoy my treats :p, sorry but that’s just me.
    I don’t like running with people…heck I don’t know how people can talk and run at the same time without running out of breath? I love running by myself and listening to Pandora, sometimes i do this run dance thing if a song like ” Can’t touch this” starts playing lol, people usually look at me like there’s something wrong with me but I’m just in my own little world :p.

      • We are, last time some old lady saw me and laugh and then started dancing while walking too 😀

  11. I am a total solo runner. I am actually quite impressed with the people that can run in pairs. I just get frustrated.

    I need music to stay motivated but I grew up with two music teachers for parents. We need it as much as oxygen to get through daily life.

  12. I LOVE my solo runs to think, listen to music, or just zone out. It’s also fun when I find that special running buddy that we can just chat for ever. But, I’m going to run without a buddy regardless because I depend on me too=)

  13. I prefer to run by myself too (most of the time). I don’t like having to match someone else’s pace (faster or slower, it doesn’t matter, it’s not MY pace). I usually can find my own motivation to run – for a race, for fun, general well being, etc.

  14. I love this post! I’m totally a “take responsibility for yourself/actions” kind of girl — so YES! to not relying on anyone else to run/workout/whatever 🙂 I don’t have anyone nearby me to run with and yet every morning at 5 a.m. I get up and do it — and I love running on my own before the day begins — just love it. This is such a great, motivating post — thank you!! 🙂

  15. I run solo 95% of the time (the other 5% is typically races). so I depend on myself to get out there and get motivated. My running is my ‘me time’ but obviously there are times I trick myself into not getting it done because I’m not feeling it. But sometimes I’m good and can still get my butt out there and get it done!

  16. I am very much a solo runner. My husband will go with me occasionally, it always sounds fun but then we end up ditching each other about half way through. I like to listen to my tunes and zone out:)

  17. I LOVE THIS POST. Was just doing some catching up on SCB reading and this post is by far my favorite of yours. Mostly because I agree 100% with everything you wrote about motivating yourself to run. 🙂 I run by myself most of the time because I like to run on my terms, but I have a running buddy some weekends. Regardless, running is something I like to do for myself and it feels awesome to go outside and kick butt alone! Love your posts, you are so relatable!

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