Thoughts on taking things personally

Yesterday was a windy, rain pouring down sideways, soggy morning.  We need it, but it’s funny how it comes only during the handful of days you don’t want it to.  It’s a good thing I don’t mind being out in it, but I looked like a drowned rat by the end of the day.

I came home, took a hot shower and decided that eating salami, cheese sticks, chips + salsa for dinner while watching cartoons was a great way idea.  Turns out it was!  Plus Bam is a big fan of snuggling and cartoons too.  #winning.

I am happy to report I’m making strength training a priority.  Even I am shocked I did it when all I wanted to do was eat gummy bears and lay on the couch.  I still did that, post workout in case you are wondering.  Having super cute kicks also helps!  

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Just something I’ve been thinking about lately…

I typically don’t allow myself to get worked up over the small stuff.  I let a lot of stuff roll off my back.  I do my best to focus on seeing things for what they really are, not how others perceive it.

I consider myself very passionate.  I LOVE everything I do and if the day comes that I don’t, I’ll quit and find something else I love.  Life is too short for mediocrity.  I have a great deal of passion for the brands I align myself with, the blog, the course, everything I do.  So when someone criticizes me, I automatically take it personal, instead of taking a step back and try to see it through their point of view. 

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This one is a tough one for me.  I know there is always something we can work on, but I put so much effort into it.  You know that old saying goes something like this…the qualities you admire most in others are probably your weakness.  Yah, that’s me.

I need to remind myself that it’s dumb how often times, we allow others problems to become ours.  In reality it’s a choice.  We choose to make ourselves the important part of the interaction – when most likely it’s not. 

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I know first hand this is easier said than done, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t work on it.  I mean, how awesome would it feel to take all of the negative things others say about ourselves with a grain of sea salt?! 

I’m curious if you guys fall into that trap as well?  How do you distance yourself from situations and not take what others say about you so dang personally?

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15 Comments on “Thoughts on taking things personally

  1. First of all I’m in awe that ANYONE could have ANYTHING negative to say about you!!!! You are so kind, real, honest and funny!!!!!!! I’m sad that others can’t see this. I have always been “thick skinned” as my grandma used to call it. I don’t really let others thoughts get to me. I figure I know me better than anyone else. If they want to make a judgement about me without getting to know me first….well that is their fault!!!!! I feel a lot of times others negativity is more their own personal insecurities. Your a tuff cookie!!!! Keep your chin up girl and keep being you!!!!!!

  2. I think it’s harder and harder to not take things personally these days. FB, Twitter, Blogs all make it easy for people to type things about individuals/offer opinions that they would never say to that persons face. I have a “friend” that rips into me on FB, but in person is so timid and non-confrontational that it’s like she’s two different people.

    I figure if I’m getting comments/feedback that are one off’s it’s them not me. If I’m hearing the same thing over and over from multiple people then I take a hard look at myself, talk to the hubby about it, and determine what needs to change.

    It amazes me what people feel free to say in comments…make me glad my blog is little and hardly anyone leaves comments.

  3. Soooo, this made me think of a situation that happened yesterday. My sister-in-law is crazy {crazy as in if Gary & I ever go missing, she probably knows where our bodies are}.
    Poor Gary had to interact with her yesterday and the first thing she says to him is to tell his “fat F***” of a wife to stop blogging about his mom having cancer. 1. The only time I write about this is when I talk about it from my perspective of seeing my husband having to go through this situation….I have never even brought up his sister. 2. If she hates me so much, why does she bother reading my blog? Creepy/Stalker stuff there. 3. She is my height and weight at least 40 pounds more than I do.
    You know what I did when he told me? I laughed. I didn’t let it get to me. Another blogger {I THINK it was Tina from CNC} once wrote “Hurt People Hurt People.” I cannot let negative people bring me down. When people are negative and just plain horrible I tell myself to think how sad it must be living their life. That there are people out there who look for the bad stuff in life and take their sadness out on others.
    Keep smiling my friend! 🙂

  4. It is difficult to have thick skin. I just want to assure you that it gets better with age! I’m just a few years away from a filterless old lady yelling at people to get off my lawn. It feels awesome! 😀 Really though, life just opens us up to a certain amount of judging even when we are wearing our big girl panties. Stay the course. Just as you are growing, others are growing too. Sometimes seeing it from that perspective helps. Everyone makes mistakes. Smart people learn from them.

  5. For me it’s very difficult to be thick skinned, my whole life i have been judged one way or another even by my own family so i am my own worst enemy when it comes to EVERYTHING 🙁 BUT i try my best to get over it.
    The only way i have always dealt with things is by working out and running, when i’m doing those i feel like i don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone says or thinks about me, i just don’t care i’m in my happy spot and that’s all that matters to me my music and my exercise because otherwise i won’t stop thinking about it and i’ll just obsess about it, no joke and it’s not like i can talk to anyone because i am all alone, i don’t have friends and my family is still in Mexico and Canada. I do talk to myself when i’m all alone though :p…. i know it’s weird and i only do it when i’m alone so i don’t creep anyone out but that’s what i do lol

  6. Its hard not to take things personally. I think we all fall in that trap sometimes whether we admit it or not. I just try and separate myself from people who will judge or put me down. Separate myself from things that might give me those inadequate feelings. Sometimes this means stopping reading certain sites, or distancing myself from people who do not add to my life.

  7. I think this is so hard! Some days it easier than other it just depends what else is going on in my life. When someone attacks me personally especially via my blog I usually try to tell myself that they don’t know me, they don’t know what is going on, and they are just doing it to make themselves feel better. Someone who really cared for you wouldn’t go about it rude or negatively!

  8. Lately I have been trying to remember the serenity prayer when I seem to be taking things personally. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”. It doesn’t always work…but I’m trying.

  9. Oh, this is such a hard situation!! As I’ve gotten older I’ve developed a more “don’t care” kind of attitude but I still feel bothered when someone lashes out for no real reason.
    Sorry that you have had to deal with a negative Nancy!
    Just know that plenty of people think you are awesome – and come back here over and over!!!

  10. I take things personally all the time. It really messed with me when I was younger and affected my confidence. I still take things too personally than I should, but I’m learning to let things go. I try to do this (doesn’t always work)- 1) Does the person have a valid point? 2) If the answer to #1 was no, where they just being mean? 3) If the answer to #3 was yes, then let it go and realize it says more about the other person than it does about you.

  11. Ugh, this is the worst for me!! I hate being under attack because even though the problem may be obviously that of the attacker, I can’t help but take it personally….or at least let it hang over my head like a dark cloud. One thing I’m prone to, is catastrophising things. I tend to let one negative remark from one small person turn into something so much bigger than it is. I’m not sure how to say this without sounding full of myself, but from my experience the toxic people that create these situations are usually females with low self esteem and it’s jealousy based. I know it’s easier said than done, but just keep your chin up and do what you do. At the end of the day, some random person’s opinion just doesn’t matter. Life is too short for that kind of bs.

  12. I’ve seen some mean comments on some blogs. One commenter berated a food blogger for daring to talk about her faith on her “food blog”. I was stunned that someone would have the nerve to tell someone what they thought they should post. If a person is so offended by the mention of God, then maybe they should go read another blog. Each blogger has the right to post whatever they want because it’s their blog.

    When I find myself in a situation like this, I remind myself of this quote from Robert Tew.

    “Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the roof and kick them out”!

    I realize that by continuing to think about how they offended me, that I am giving them more power, so it’s a little easier to let things go then.

  13. You’re freaking awesome. Tell all the haters they can suck it 🙂

    (That’s how mature people handle things, I think…)

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