Guest Post–Being married to a Skinny Chick

Good morning all, this is Mike. Jacqueline woke up at 5:30 this morning stumbled out to the living room to write a post. 5 minutes later she flopped back into bed. She was mumbling something about not having bananas and how she’s not gonna post anything today. You see, she has been working at the golf course all week, and she is grumpy.

I volunteered to write a post for her today, but in doing so, I get to make fun of her. Being married to Jacqueline is like being married to a hot 80 year old. She is so set in her ways, she is stubborn, she usually gets up early, has her pill, banana, toast & coffee (in that exact order) sits on the couch while reading/writing blog posts with Bam.

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Jacqueline is the one on the left. Lol

I bought her a Smart TV for the bedroom yesterday while she was at work. I got this as an early Valentines day gift. She loves to watch tv before she goes to sleep. Now I say the word “watch”, but she never watches tv. She has it on, and she sits in bed with her phone on Instagram, Facebook, whatever. She watches the same movies over and over. I’m sure she has told you some of her favorites, but here is a short list from my perspective.

1. Christmas Vacation

2. Office Space

3. Farris Buellers day off

4. Step Brothers

5. A Christmas Story

I got her the Smart TV. I thought she would like to watch something on Netflix. I thought she would like something new. When am I going to realize that when it comes to Jacqueline, don’t think.

She mentioned yesterday in her post, that I ironed her pants for her, and she thought that was sexy. I read that after she went to work, so I started “thinking” on how I could buy her a Smart TV for the bedroom. I could got her a “dumb” tv. Jacqueline doesn’t care for anything new when it comes to technology, unless it has to do with running or blogging.

Jacqueline has routines.  Period. Everything she does has ceremony of some kind attached to it. Just so you know, I find this charming and cute most of the time. Of course when I ask about these little ceremonies, she answers with a reason that I had not even considered.

I’m not sure if these are a sign of neurotic behavior, or she is so deliberate in all of her actions that she is smarter than I am. She considers things that I would never thought of. Again, why am i “thinking”.

She just got up and is getting ready right now, and I’m sure that there are about 100 different little ceremonies going on in the shower, makeup, hair… and if I ask about them, I will be met with a strange look and an explanation that is so contrary to my way of “thinking” that I have given up asking  any more.

Makeup

But you gotta love the finished product!

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I just accept that either Jacqueline or myself is 100% nuts, and the other one is completely sane.

I kinda think she is the nutty one.

Do you have routines?

Are you a creature of habit?

Am I nuts?

34 Comments on “Guest Post–Being married to a Skinny Chick

  1. Love this! Welcome to the blog world Mike. I am a creature of habit and my husband is not. He always makes fun of me for this and always doesn’t really understand it, but at least he tries 🙂

    • Thanks for the comment Darlin’ Rest assured I am not a blogger. This is just a one time thing, unless we change the blog name to “Diary of a fat dude” Would you read? I think not!

      • I would read it! I wish there were more guy bloggers out there. Funny post! I also have a Smart TV but I rarely do anything smart with it except find pilates videos on youtube, which is totally worth having it for, by the way.

        • Ok, so my blog would consist of,
          1. Red Meat
          2. Beer or Scotch
          3. Guns
          Sorry but there would be absolutely NO Pilate videos at all ever. Well maybe if the chicks were hot, lol. I would have to consume the first 2.

  2. “She loves to watch tv before she goes to sleep. Now I say the word “watch”, but she never watches tv. She has it on, and she sits in bed with her phone on Instagram, Facebook, whatever.”

    I am 100% guilty of doing this! Hilarious.

  3. What…so are you saying that there is something wrong with acting like an 80 year old?!? Netflix has been a lifesaver these last few months on the treadmill…but when I’m sitting down on the couch watching tv…I’ve got ADD as well between the tv, iPad, iPhone….

  4. I love that you made a post for your sweet wife!!!!!! It truly shows what a kickin hubs you are. 🙂 High 5 to you.

    I am TOTALLY a routine person. EVERY MORNING it is the same thing. Ever see the movie Groundhog Day with Billy Murray? Yep that is me 🙂 I’m ok with that. Makes me happy.

    As far as if you are “nuts” or not. I think we are all a little crazy. It is the “sane” people you need to look out for!!!! Happy Sunday!!!!!

    • Groundhog Day is a fantastic movie! I like the part where he learns to play the piano to woo Andie MacDowell. Punxsutawney Phil and Bill Murry in the pickup driving over the cliff, classic!

  5. OMG….completely love this! To J….you have the most thoughtful, funny man! To Mike…don’t ever change….you both have to be a little nuts…just so you know!

    • Yo, Yo, Yo…..I’m sitting on the couch watching reruns of Breaking Bad while my wife is making fat stacks of Benjies!

  6. I loved this! And I love your perspective and how you described your awesome wife!
    I really lol’d at ‘she’s the one on the left.’ I love any post with her grandma in it!
    I’m all about routines. For example, I have a 6 week old that I’ve gotten on a scheduled routine like clockwork. Infants usually aren’t into a routine until around 4 months. Routines make my life so much easier!

    • Conclusion= All women must have a routine. Men must respect that routine or…….death and sadness will ensue.

      Noted.

  7. I don’t know if I want to know what my hubby would say about me in a guest post on my blog! Nice of you to step in and let her sleep instead of post!

    You aren’t nuts, I have habits and routine that make my hubby crazy and walk away shaking his head.

  8. Ha! This is killing me! I love the way that men and women think so differently. I’m impressed that you’ve stopped asking, but have learned to love her quirkiness. I hope y’all have a great and relaxing sundat

    • I’ve stopped asking her. I still ask in my head “What the H^&*L is she thinking?!?”

  9. I’ve found that when it comes to a woman’s routines…if you don’t understand it (and what man would?), you’re best option is to just let it go. We don’t usually understand the answer even when they tell us.

    Do you have routines? — I suppose I do…I like to have an order to things, but I’m also comfortable going with the flow. My OCD is mostly under control.

    Are you a creature of habit? — I’m a creature of bad habits.

    Am I nuts? — yes, you probably are…it’s what gets you through life though. Jimmy Buffett said “If we weren’t all crazy, we’d all go insane” and I tend to agree.

  10. This was such fun to read!!! I’m sure you could entertain lots of other bloggers – red meat is good, beer is good, scotch..(my husband likes it), guns…(husband and boys have them and like to shoot)!!!
    And, I didn’t know it was even possible to watch TV without a laptop and at least 2 other items handy (iPhone and iPad usually!).
    Routine is good – keeps some of us stable(ish)!

    • Yes, my new blog would consist of me taking selfies in the mirror. I could also post pictures of my pizza, tacos, and 12 year old scotch. I would offer fashion and beauty tips, maybe “Turning your beer belly into beer biceps” .

  11. LMAO!!! That was great you are to funny :D!!
    Yes I am a creature of Hobbits I mean habbits hehe, I must have coffee and my pbj toast every morning followed by my pills:D .
    You both are awesome and I hope you blog again 🙂

    • Well PBJ is your thing. Jacqueline has toast with Canola Harvest brand margarine, no other kind ever. She can somehow taste the difference

      She shops for this stuff I think at Walmart, she doesn’t get anything else there, just that.

      Here is Jacqueline, all 105 lbs, with 4 large tubs of margarine and that’s it, roaming the isle of Walmart……..

    • 1. Good
      2. Ok
      3. You’re not a real Doctor, your argument is invalid.

      Thanks

  12. I love this! Great job on the post Mike! It’s awesome that you can see the love you guys have for each other and you’re “crazy” little habits. My husband and I were attempting to insult each other last night but couldn’t keep a straight face, it was ridiculous. I could picture you two doing the same thing!

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