Sometimes I’m an optimist to a fault

I’m an optimist dang it.

I swear I am. I’m just finding it hard to see the rainbows and lollipops right now.

If you’ve followed SCB for awhile, (thank you for sticking around. You seriously deserve a medal) then you are well aware the struggle is real within the injury world, that is also known as my life.

If you’re new, welcome! I promise to get back to telling lame jokes, cracking on my boys and being a bit more optimistic.

But tonight, I am not. And that’s okay. This is life and sometimes we just have to let ourselves feel crappy for a bit. Then eventually we have to put on pants like an adult or something, snap out of it and decide there is too much life to be lived and move on.

Let’s see if I can make a long story short… Since 2011 I have struggled with chronic tendinitis and sesamoiditis in both feet off and on. Though the right one has definitely the biggest punk.

Over the last year, and especially since hip surgery they have progressively gotten worse. Like, to the point where I can’t walk Bam for 20 minutes without each step becoming more painful. I have to take off my shoes and kick my feet up right when I get home.

In the morning, they are stiff and sore they feel like they are going to crack. After stretching and moving around they loosen up a bit, so I’m happy about that. Ha I am getting so old!!

Instead of writing a book, I’ll share a few highlights:

  • I have seen 4 podiatrists/foot & ankle surgeons over the years. One put me in a boot for 8 weeks last summer for no reason at all, which made the problem worse and also caused a circulatory complication. Kinda funny story about that I mailed his bill back to him with a very forward, yet firm explanation along with facts as to why I refused to pay it. He forgave the debt but stood his ground on his false diagnosis. Whatev.
  • I’m on my 3rd pair of custom orthotics and not even sure if they’re working. That dang money tree can spontaneously appear any day now.
  • 2 physical therapists have been my only source of relief and hope. Even if it doesn’t last long.
  • I haven’t ran consistently in over 2 years because of this & of course the whole hip thing.
  • I miss running so freaking hard.
  • I only wear Altras with high cushion and extra wide toe box. Even though my feet still hurt, these shoes are amazing. I can’t even imagine how worse I’d feel without them.
  • I don’t wear flip flops or heels or walk barefoot or anything fun like that.
  • Recently I stopped seeing my PT. While the treatment worked, it didn’t last long and I was right back in his office within a week. We both agreed it would be wise to get another opinion.
  • I am currently strength training like a champ, to rebuild the hip/quad/hamstrings because one day I WILL be able to walk & run pain free. I have no doubt.
  • Except if you asked me about an hour ago. I was swearing I’d eventually end up in a wheelchair and Mike would “accidently” push me down some stairs into the ocean and sharks would eat me alive. {I hope you are seeing our demented sense of humor here.} 🙂
  • I have an appointment with a specialist in a couple weeks. My PT recommended her. She is supposed to be the best around. My PT most certainly did not disappoint on the hip surgeon, so I am cautiously optimistic!!

I think that’s about it…

So for this evening, I’m gonna just chill in my comfy sweatpants, watch Netflix and promise myself tomorrow I will get my life together.

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Onward & upward.

Anyone else have a chronic injury punk? If so, please share. If not, you are one lucky duck!

Please tell me you’re a Gilmore Girls fan!

Anybody have a couple spare feet in a size 7 just laying around? I don’t even care if they’re old. They just need to work.

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25 Comments on “Sometimes I’m an optimist to a fault

  1. What’s the name of the specialist you’re going to see? I’m in Santa Cruz, and looking for someone to help me with my injuries!

  2. Get yourself a big old glass of wine or a bowl of ice cream and embrace the suck for today and know that tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully you’re on the right path and you’ll get some answers soon!

  3. You hang in there, friend! I admire your perseverance! And also diggin’ the Catalina sweats 😉

    • Thanks lady. Let’s spend a weekend on Catalina Island!! Deal? Oh but you need to meet a helicopter pilot to fly us in first. 😉

  4. Thanks for your optimism today, it is contagious! Hope you’re feeling a little better today, if not, more coffee and chocolate!

  5. Keep your chin up J….I know you’ll find something that will work. I have chronic ITB pain and general annoyances that I complain about. I dislike the question “Are you doing your stretches?” whenever I see a PT. I do them…but it just doesn’t seem to work so then I get frustrated and stop doing them….Grrrrr…a vicious cycle. So yep….you go ahead and wallow….we optimists are allowed to do that every now and then!!! Oh…..PS….I’m having an absolute blast working at the golf course. #bestdecisionever

    • Gosh, I hope that punk IT band gets worked out soon. Chronic injuries are not invited to our party.
      So dang happy you’re enjoying your job!! Doing something you love makes all the difference in quality of life.

  6. I’ve been reading your blog for a couple years now and i know it must be just as tough to tell us nothing is getting better as it is just as hard for us to read about it. I’m so sorry you haven’t found answers yet. it sucks. plain and simple. You are optimistic and i think that is going to get you through this! You’re strengthening your body along the way and open to try new things so i’m hopeful you will eventually get better or at least find the root of the problem. you’re completely allowed to throw your hands up from time to time! i don’t think any of your readers think your complaining, it’s life. We all complain when things aren’t going our way. especially when it comes to running… in the meantime we are all here and along for the ride and support!

    • You are so thoughtful. Thank you so much. I would hate to ever come across as a complainer because there is always someone out there who is going through a much more difficult time.

  7. Hang in there! I have been struggling with injuries and haven’t really gotten back to where I was in a couple of years.
    I feel like the medical world is so anti-running which makes it harder too. That is coming from a NP.
    Good luck!!

  8. Have you seen a Rheumatologist, had any sort of inflammatory work up done to rule out any sort if issue which could be causing all these ‘injuries? Just a thought…good luck girl!

    • Yep,tested negative for Rheumatoid arthritis, Lupus and some other autoimmune stuff. Also inflammation is normal. Thanks for your warm thoughts!

  9. Huge Gilmore fan here 🙂
    My right ankle/foot is my chronic punk. Ever since I sprained the right ankle over 2 years ago, I got tendinitis in the outer ankle and then that got better but now i have tendinitis in the inner ankle and this just wont go away. I’ve been to an ortho/pt/chiro, everything. It hurts when i get up in the morning and so sore all day, even sore to touch the ankle bone. I’ve been wearing kt tape and that seems to help a bit. I haven’t run since last year and it’s bringing me down! So i feel your pain on the chronic pain front….

  10. Yes, I’m a huge Gilmore Girls fan! I’ve been struggling with piriformus syndrome for 3 years now. I can get the condition under control, but it always comes back. Gone are my days of half marathons. I’ll just be happy if I can run a 5k with my kids now. Best of luck to you!

  11. Hi…I have been reading your blog for awhile and have had many injuries too… I have been feeling great lately and have many races I have signed up for …. I came home this morning and could barely walk… I know this is insane to be like this when so many are suffering from horrific illnesses but…. Can u be specific in where your pain is from the sesmoiditist asshole!!!! And yes I am fully aware that you are not a Dr. But you seem very well updated on this… I will take it as opinion if it makes you feel better.. Uuuhhhgggg please :(((((((((((

  12. I have had plenty of chronic injuries. Oddly enough since 2011 as well. It started with an ankle sprain during the Warrior Dash two months before my first marathon. the ankle tendonitis (peroneal) has plagued me ever since including a couple more ankle sprains. Then there is the hamstring, knee and back that rotate keeping me from running or running normally. I’ve slowed down a ton this year and am ready to take 2016 off from anything more than 10ks. My back hurts all the time but I’m able to walk at least.
    Hang in there!!!

  13. We like to hear about it all! Sharing your good AND bad days/weeks/months helps me to have hope that I’ll feel awesome again someday.

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