Posted on May 15, 2016
Tiny squares of sunshine
My life, as depicted in the tiny squares of Instagram is a lot like how I am if you met me in real life. I choose to focus on the positive, sunny spots, so when tough times come along, (and boy, they do!) it helps to remember the good times. I choose to ignore the hell I’m going through. As in real life and social media, I also choose to leave much of the bad parts out. Unless you are lucky enough to be in my circle of trust.
I recently went back to work and someone asked where I’d been. I explained that my gallbladder decided to be a traitor, I had surgery and took some time off to recover. He said something like wow, I’m glad you’re alright. It’s nice to have you back. I thanked him and mentioned that I’m only back for a few days, and then I’ll be on vacation. But I look forward to seeing you then…
What he said next caught me off guard: “it must be nice to drive a Porsche and go on vacation all the time” while walking away.
I did something I normally don’t do. I shut up, put my head down and did my job.
I try to be very professional, yet have no problem standing up for myself. I feel very honored to work for a company that trusts my ability to take care of some of the worlds most high profile & successful, as well as everyday folks like myself. Walking up to a CEO of a fortune 500 company, movie star, President or regular people, asking how their day is, and offering them a beverage or snack doesn’t intimidate or make me nervous one bit. To me everybody is a guest, it’s my job to make them feel welcome. And I absolutely love it!
His comment kinda stung and I even surprised myself by choosing not to respond.
It wasn’t until later I figured out why this comment bothered me so much. It’s my fault he doesn’t understand how awful 2016 has been for us, because I don’t care enough about what he thinks, to explain it.
He has no idea how hard we worked to build a solid foundation for ourselves. He has no idea Mike was off work longer than expected to have surgery on both hands at the same time. Or that a month later, he spent a week beside his mother in the hospital, making some of the toughest decisions no one ever wants to make. He was with her when the cancer took her way too soon, but at that time, she met Jesus..Then we spent another week helping his father cope with the loss, making funeral arrangements & taking care of other family business. He has no idea I was in & out of the hospital 3 times less than 2 weeks after her funeral either.
Why? Because I choose not to share these things. And I am not bitter with is reaction at all now that I took a step back, and looked at it through his perspective.
Mike & I are the kind of folks who take care of us. We choose not to share a lot of our life because we are simply private people. We don’t like anyone feeling sorry for us. Life gets dirty, it unravels faster than we’d like at times, but one thing is true for everyone, that life does not discriminate. Life is just plain hard sometimes. Mike often says to me that the easiest day was yesterday. I hate to admit how true that is sometimes.
I actually want to thank him for helping me realize something. That is sometimes – dare I say most times we don’t have to justify the choices or decisions we make, or what we to do or say to anyone. So we can’t be upset when they make comments that sting. They only get to see the tiny squares of sunshine I let them see.
Your ignorance about my life is my choice.